Caroline and the Nuptial Nightmare
by Eliza-81
Summary: What if Caroline’s pre-nuptial dream about kissing Richard wasn’t a dream but an actual event?


Saint Thomas Church, 5th Avenue, New York. Caroline was getting ready to walk down the aisle. Annie was with her to offer some final moral support before the ceremony began.  
  
"You look so beautiful.." Annie admired Caroline in her wedding dress. Caroline fidgeted with her dress and turned around, placing a hand over her stomach. "I think I'm gonna throw up."  
  
"In that case, let's get rid of this" Annie smiled while lifting up the veil that hid Caroline's face.  
  
"I'm so nervous! I can't believe Liz Taylor went through this eight times!" Caroline exclaimed.  
  
"Well, she had to get through this to get to the cake!" Annie joked, trying to lighten the mood. Caroline managed to produce a nervous smile, feeling slightly better.  
  
"Relax honey, I'm here for you! If you want me to push you down the aisle I'll do it. If you wanna back out of this I'll toss a rock through this baby, we're out in the street in ten seconds" Annie gestured to the stained glass window.  
  
"No really, I'm fine."  
  
In the background the organ began to play. Annie picked up her bouquet and smiled at Caroline. "That's my cue. See you out there, Mrs. Cassidy" she said sweetly. They leaned in for a hug, then both turned their faces so only their cheeks touched. "Lipstick,.lipstick.."  
  
Annie turned around and glanced at Caroline one more time, giving her an encouraging smile before leaving. Caroline looked in the mirror. Nervously she fidgeted with her veil and took a deep breath in an attempt to control her nerves. At that moment the door opened again and Richard peeked around the corner.  
  
"Excuse me Caroline, are you busy?" he asked, then entered. "I just wanted to give you a little wedding gift." he explained.  
  
"Oh, really?" Caroline smiled. She put down her bouquet.  
  
"Yeah." he said nervously and handed her an envelope. "Go ahead, open it." he encouraged her, when she didn't open it straight away.  
  
"Okay" She opened the envelope. "A check?" she asked, surprised.  
  
"Yeah, but don't cash it until Friday, you haven't paid me yet" he quipped.  
  
"Thanks Richard." She turned and started fidgeting with her veil again.  
  
"Yeah sure." he said and started to leave. He stopped abruptly and turned around again.  
  
"Caroline? There's one more thing." She turned around to ask him what it was but at that moment he pulled her to him in a breath stealing kiss. She was shocked at first but then responded and returned his passionate kiss. She raked her hands through his hair and kissed him back as if it were her one and only chance to kiss him. And maybe it really was. She was about to marry Del.  
  
The thought of Del brought her to her senses and she pulled back, pushing him to arms' length.  
  
"Richard!" she exclaimed. "This is all wrong. We can't do this, I'm about to marry Del!" she turned around and held her head as if it was going to help her think.  
  
Richard was stunned for a moment. He needed a little time to switch from having her in his arms and having everything he wanted, to being at a distance again. Of course, it was too good to be true, the thought of Caroline actually loving him back. He should've known this wasn't going to work out, after all, his name was still Richard Karinsky and therefore nothing good was supposed to happen to him. He stepped towards her.  
  
"Look, Caroline, this isn't wrong. What's wrong is that you're marrying Del. What just happened was what was supposed to happen all along." He reached out to her, but she stepped back.  
  
She shook her head, eyes tearing up. "No, no, Richard, don't do this! I'm marrying Del, this is only complicating things!"  
  
"Caroline, this isn't complicated, all you need to do is decide who you want to be with." he said helplessly, his eyes filled with desperation. He had to convince her not to marry Del! If she did, he'd lose her forever. How was it possible she even considered marrying him after the kiss they just shared? Didn't she feel the spark between them?  
  
"No, Richard, it's not that simple. I have to-...I want to-" she choked out, her voice too cracked up to speak. There were so many emotions that came to the surface but needed to stay down. There was no time for them to be exposed right now. He approached her and searched her eyes with his.  
  
"What Caroline? What do you want?" he asked hopefully. At that moment the organ began to play the wedding march. Caroline's eyes widened.  
  
"I have to go!" she said with a pained voice. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to wipe away the tears, being careful not to smear her make-up. She grabbed her bouquet and rushed to the door.  
  
"Caroline wait!" Richard called after her. "I love.-"  
  
She slammed the door as she ran out.  
  
"..you." he whispered to a closed door.  
  
Caroline stood before the door in the vestibule. She clutched her stomach and took a deep breath to gather up strength before entering. She swallowed a couple of times in an attempt to stop the tears that still stung in her eyes. She inhaled deeply again, then entered the main church area. Immediately all heads turned and everybody rose from their seats. Dozens of eyes were focussed on her. The church was packed. Her family was on the left side of the aisle and Del's family was on the right side. The church looked amazing. She had picked this church because of the typical French High Gothic style with which it was built. What really won her over was the flat wall behind the altar with the most magnificent reredos she'd ever seen. There was something enchanting about this church that made it the perfect place to get married; beautiful, overwhelming, but most of all romantic. The church was beautifully decorated with lots of giant flower arrangements in the colors white and green. She loved white flowers, especially daisies. She remembered how she'd picked those out herself. At that moment she'd thought they'd make the most beautiful day of her life more festive, but now just the sight of them made new tears come to the surface. She blinked frantically to stop them. Through a mist of tears she could see Del standing at the altar, wearing a dark-gray suit and he had a broad smile on his face. He looked expectantly at her, probably unable to see her struggle from where he was standing. She looked up when she noticed someone approaching her. It was her father; he'd come to give her away.  
  
"Are you okay, Puddin'?" he asked softly when he noticed the distressed look on her face.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine Dad" she squirmed. "It's just nerves."  
  
"Okay then, let's go" he smiled. He hooked an arm through hers and they walked down the aisle, on their way to the altar.  
  
Each step felt like a giant obstacle that had to be overcome. Dammit, she didn't want to feel this way, she wanted to be happy! She was about to get married for god's sake! She was allowing this thing with Richard to ruin everything. She couldn't let that happen. She pushed her doubts as far away as possible and lifted her head. She forced herself to smile as they approached Del. She locked eyes with him and finally stood still across from him when she reached the altar.  
  
"Please be seated" the priest requested.  
  
******  
  
Richard paced in front of the church, raking his hands through his hair, occasionally shaking his head in disbelief. How could she do this? He glanced briefly at the door a couple of times. As if he expected her to walk through and tell him she'd made a big mistake and she wanted to be with him. Yeah right. He couldn't stand this any longer, this constant wondering. No, not even wondering anymore: hoping. And his last bit of hope had been ripped away too, when she ran out to marry Del after their kiss.  
  
He looked up one more time then hung his head and turned around. "Goodbye, Caroline" he mumbled. He shoved hands in his pockets and walked away from the church, determined to never ever look back again.  
  
******  
  
Caroline glanced over her shoulder at the closed doors.  
  
"So, do you think he's coming or not?" Del whispered through clenched teeth.  
  
Startled, she looked up. "Huh?"  
  
"Richard. He's one of my ushers, remember? Where is he? He should've been here ages ago.  
  
"Oh, right" Caroline said quietly. She stared at the decorations at the altar, never tearing her eyes away from them, too distracted to look at Del.  
  
"Hey, don't worry, he'll be here" Del said.  
  
Caroline snapped out of her stare and looked up. She smiled convulsively and nodded.  
  
Del didn't notice, he was whispering something to Greg.  
  
"Are we ready to begin now?" the priest asked. He tried to sound friendly but a hint of annoyance shone through in his voice.  
  
"Yeah, sure" Caroline whispered.  
  
******  
  
Richard arrived at his apartment. As soon as he got in, he let himself drop on his bed, or at least the mattress that served as one. They're married now, he thought. He closed his eyes but all he saw was this constant film of Caroline running off to marry Del, playing over and over again. He sighed with frustration and opened his eyes to get rid of the image. But it had already dug into his memory and could probably never be erased anymore. He sat up and tried to think about what he was going to do. There was no way he was going back to work for her. How could he? It would mean coming in every day and watching the two of them together. The mental image in itself was unbearable, let alone the actual sight of it.  
  
He pushed himself up from his bed and walked over to his closet. He opened it and pulled out a suitcase. He threw it down on the bed and frantically started to throw some clothes in it. His anger and frustration took control of him and he now took them out on everything he got a hold of.  
  
He first threw his clothes on the bed, then started kicking against the mattress and his closet and threw his suitcase with its contents against the wall, followed by several other objects he came across. It only produced an annoyed knock on the wall from the neighbors.  
  
He breathed heavily a couple of times to regain his composure. He kneeled to pick up the suitcase and his clothes. He put them into his suitcase again and started to collect his other things so he could finally get away.  
  
He had no idea where he was going to go and he didn't care really, as long as he could get away from Caroline and her new husband, Del.  
  
******  
  
The ceremony was halfway through and Caroline and Del had just expressed their wedding vows to each other. It went rather smoothly, Caroline had rehearsed her vows over and over again at home and she had little trouble repeating them now. Richard was still in her head, but she had pushed him away as far as possible and she actually felt better now. Del had just read out this beautiful poem about a tree and eternity and she really wanted to enjoy this moment.  
  
Then it was time to continue with the formal part of the ceremony. The pastor asked them to face one another and join hands.  
  
"Del," he said "Do you take Caroline to be your wedded wife, do you promise to love her, to honor and cherish her, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"  
  
Del smiled at her and gazed into her eyes, his eyes filled with love and sincerity.  
  
"I do" he said softly.  
  
The priest turned slightly and continued.  
  
"Caroline, do you take Del to be your wedded husband, do you promise to love him, to honor and cherish him, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"  
  
Caroline looked up at Del. He smiled at her and gently squeezed her hand. She glanced at the people in the church for a moment, then at the priest and then looked up at Del again. His features were so familiar, so safe. He was always the one she ended up with when something in her life went wrong. He was always there to talk to or cuddle up to. He never made a big deal out of anything, he was just so at ease and she loved him for that. He was definitely her most intimate friend. Friend??? She was about to marry the guy! No, he was more than that. He was important to her and she wanted him to be part of her life. Being with him was just so comfortable. She inhaled deeply, stood up straight and looked up at him.  
  
"I.-"..- she hesitated  
  
"don't.."  
  
Del let go of her hand and his jaw dropped open in shock. His eyes widened, and then he just froze. Immediately the people in the church started to whisper to each other. A couple of shrieks could be heard and some people stood up to make their way over to the altar. The priest put down his Bible and turned around in confusion, trying to distance himself from this catastrophe going on in his church.  
  
Annie immediately reached out to Caroline, placing an arm on her shoulder for comfort. She searched for eye contact with Caroline, but she was still locked into a stare with Del.  
  
He just stood there, unwilling to realize what had just happened. Tears welled up in Caroline's eyes as she just stared up at him in anticipation of his response. She felt sympathy, sorrow and.relief. She'd made the right decision, she didn't want to marry him. He was incredibly important to her and she never wanted to lose him but.. he was not her sincere amore. Richard was. How was it possible she had tried to deny that?  
  
"I'm sorry, Del." she whispered, the tears now splashing onto her cheeks. "Please say something." she begged.  
  
He finally snapped out of his shock and stepped away from her. "What do you want me to say, Caroline? 'Thank you'? You can't expect me to be happy about this! Geez.!" He raked a hand in his hair and stared at the floor.  
  
"Of course not Del, but at least it's best I realize that this is not what I want before we're married." She stepped towards him but he didn't react.  
  
"I suppose you're right, but how come it's taken you until now to realize this? " His voice sounded a little calmer now.  
  
"I'm not sure, Del, I've had doubts before but I just dismissed them, but now I can't deny them anymore."  
  
"Really?" He looked up at her. "Then what is it you can't deny then?" he asked firmly.  
  
"That you're not my sincere amore." she said quietly.  
  
In the meanwhile her parents rushed up to them as well as Del's parents and some of their friends. The other people in the church had scattered and were now all discussing the 'almost-wedding'. Caroline's parents and some friends were trying to get some answers from her, all at once. Del's parents tried to comfort their son and then also turned to Caroline in search of an explanation. She felt bewildered by these inquiries. She wasn't ready for all this, she had only just decided this herself, she couldn't talk to them about it yet. There was one other person she needed to talk to first.  
  
"Stop!" she suddenly called. "Look, I'm sorry, but I can't talk about this now. I'm sorry! I just..- I need to..-" She looked around, desperately searching for some one with at least a hint of understanding. All she saw was anger, surprise, shock and confusion though. She lifted her dress a little, careful not to trip while she ran down the aisle, on her way out of the church. When she got to the door she looked over her shoulder one more time. "Sorry.." she stated, then ran out of the church.  
  
When she got out on the streets she frantically looked around her, hastily scanning the shopping crowd for Richard. She didn't see him though. She gathered the skirt of her dress in her arms and started running down 5th Avenue. People turned their heads when they saw this young bride running through the streets, desperately trying to hail a cab. She didn't notice. All she could think of was getting to Richard as quickly as possible. Finally, a yellow cab pulled up in front of her and she jumped in. She told the driver her destination and the cab took off. The driver glanced curiously in his mirror a couple of times but he didn't ask anything.  
  
She silently prayed Richard would be at his apartment. If not, she had no idea how to find him. If only she wasn't too late. She probably wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. She had just run out on him after their kiss. Even thinking about it now made the whole thing seem so surreal.  
  
Now, about an hour later, it finally began to sink in. He actually kissed her! Richard, this cynical, uptight and most of all shut-off man had taken a leap and he had kissed her. And there she was: kissing him back and then turning him down again. He must be totally crushed by this.  
  
He seemed so desperate when he had tried to convince her not to marry Del. He had had this look in is his eyes of total devastation when she had told him that their kiss wasn't supposed to happen. She covered her eyes with her hand. What had she done?  
  
She reached up and started to remove some hair pins, then pulled off her veil, causing her shoulder length red hair to fall on her shoulders. She tossed the veil aside and looked at it as if it represented this 'almost- wedding' and everything that was wrong with it. What made her decide to walk down the aisle even though she didn't want to? How was it possible that this day had become such a mess? It was supposed to be the most beautiful day of her life. Richard's kiss had turned it all around. He could've changed it for the better. She had turned his kiss from a dream into a nightmare by running off. Why did she run off to marry Del after all?  
  
Fear. It must've been fear. She had been scared all along. She loved Richard and these overwhelming feelings she had for him kept growing stronger and stronger and frankly, she found it terrifying. She had never experienced something like this before and she hadn't known what to do about it. Their friendship was so precious to her, she didn't want to risk that. She wouldn't be able to cope if it didn't work out. She had been running from that risk since Day One. Choosing Del had always been the safe option. Today she had finally made a decision though. She couldn't run from her feelings anymore. Even though they frightened her, the idea of losing Richard was even worse. She sighed and looked out the window, nervously tapping her hand on her knee. Only two more blocks to go.  
  
******  
  
Richard pulled the door closed behind him. He picked up his suitcase and his easel. Maybe he would give his painting career another shot, if that would finally work out his life might actually become worthwhile. Before he walked off he checked his things one more time. Did he pack everything? He certainly didn't want to come back for anything later. He then turned around and walked away. He walked around the corner and disappeared out of sight, not noticing the yellow cab that came racing into the street behind him.  
  
Caroline jumped out of the cab, not even waiting for the car to come to a complete stop. She asked the driver to wait and then ran into Richard's building. When she got to his apartment she found his door ajar. When she knocked, the door slowly opened. She carefully entered, not sure what she'd find inside.  
  
She stood still and looked around Richard's apartment. Or 'former apartment'? The doors to his closet were open and all his clothes and his suitcase were gone. She walked through his apartment only to discover that his other stuff was gone as well. And then she found the most important thing missing: his easel and his art supplies weren't there. He was gone, and the empty apartment made clear that he wasn't planning on coming back. She hung her head, then raised it again, trying to stop the tears that now ran down her face for the second time today. She clutched her stomach as she slowly dragged herself out of his apartment, pulling the door closed behind her.  
  
The cab driver noticed her tear-stained face when she got back. "Is everything alright?" he asked hesitantly, not wanting to interfere but sympathetic about the pain she seemed to be in.  
  
Normally Caroline wouldn't tell a complete stranger about this but now she just needed to talk to someone and the cab driver was the only person here.  
  
"I just ran out of my own wedding because I realized I was in love with someone else," she sobbed "but now he's gone and I'll probably never see him again." With that she broke into tears again. She saw the sympathetic look on the cab driver's face but she didn't want his pity. It would only make her cry harder, if that were possible. "Look, just take me home, okay?" she asked painfully. The cab driver drove off again.  
  
She didn't say anything, she just sat there and cried, too consumed with sorrow to talk to the cab driver. They drove around the corner on their way to Caroline's apartment.  
  
The driver felt awkward about this whole situation. He wanted to help her but he couldn't do anything. If he could only get her to speak up, he might be able to comfort her a little.  
  
"So..um..tell me to mind my own business if I'm being too nosy, but who is this guy you tried to find just now? He must be pretty special if you ran out of your wedding for him."  
  
Caroline smiled through her tears, touched by the gentle attempt of the driver to comfort her. "Yeah..he is. He's my assistant. I'm a cartoonist and he's my colorist. Oh, but he's really an artist." she quickly added as though Richard would be offended if he could hear her. "He came to work for me about a year ago. At first he seemed a bit strange to me. I mean, he's very cynical and negative and he always wears black!" She smiled to herself at the memory of meeting Richard. "I didn't even want to hire him at first, I was pretty sure we weren't going to get along. But he ended up working for me after all and I started to like him more and more even though he did his utmost to keep people from liking him."  
  
The driver didn't respond which she took as a sign to continue. "He never really liked the job though, he just stayed to make a living until he could make a breakthrough as an artist. But now he's gone and I have no idea where he went!" She covered her eyes, trying to stop new tears that started to flow down her cheeks again.  
  
"So um. he doesn't love you then?" the cab driver asked. He stopped for a red light to let dozens of pedestrians pass.  
  
"That's the worst part" she sniffled. "I think he might feel the same but I was stupid enough to deny it. He even kissed me this morning." At the thought of their kiss, a small smile formed on her face. She touched her lips with her fingertips at the memory of his lips on hers.  
  
Puzzled, the cab driver turned slightly and looked at her. "What happened then?" he asked. "How come you're not together now?" He turned again to see if the light had changed to green already, but it was still red.  
  
"Well, that's my fault. I just got scared and I didn't know what to do, so I decided to go through with the wedding after all. But when I stood there at the altar, I just couldn't do it. All I could think of was how much I loved Richard - my assistant" she added. "So, I ran out."  
  
"I see..," Was the absent reply of the driver "and um-....what does this Richard look like?"  
  
"Well, he's tall, he has blond wavy hair and he always wears black." Caroline answered without thinking. "Why?" she then asked when she realized what the cab driver had just asked her. What did he care what Richard looked like?  
  
"Um..well, does he happen to look something like that?" he asked. He pointed through the window at a 6 feet tall, blond-haired man dressed in black, carrying a suitcase and clutching an easel under his arm, making his way across the street with the other pedestrians.  
  
Caroline's eyes widened and she gasped for air. "Richard!" she exclaimed. She tossed some money at the driver and jumped out of the cab.  
  
"Good luck!" he called after her but she didn't hear it anymore.  
  
She started running again. She ran after Richard, who was totally unaware that Caroline was trying to reach him. Caroline pushed the people around her out of the way, occasionally stepping on her wedding dress. She stumbled slightly but she her balance and resumed her chase after Richard.  
  
"Richard!" she called, panting for breath. At first he didn't hear her, but when she called him a second time, he slowly turned around and spotted her.  
  
He dropped his easel and suitcase in surprise, an astonished look forming on his face. There was Caroline, in her wedding dress, running after him and calling his name. He didn't know what to do. Should he walk up to her and wrap her in his arms? This morning's rejection still fresh in his memory though, he just stood still and watched her rushing up to him.  
  
"Richard.!" Caroline breathed when she reached him. She placed a hand over her racing heart and struggled to catch her breath. Richard just watched her in amazement. Her veil was gone and her red hair now hung loose, somewhat entangled. Her dress was a bit ripped at the hem of the skirt and there were tearstains on her cheeks, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She looked up at him with big doe-eyes that still glistened with tears. That was more than Richard could take and he reached out and pulled her to him in a hug. She circled her arms around his waist and buried her face in his shirt, deeply inhaling the scent of him; a mixture of his aftershave, detergent and soap. For a while they just stood there but then Caroline stepped back a little and looked up to face him.  
  
"I'm so sorry Richard." she said softly, new tears forming in her eyes.  
  
He reached up to wipe her tears away with his thumb. "Hey, don't cry. You know I hate to see you cry." He smiled down at her.  
  
Caroline smiled back at him. "I should never have tried to marry Del after all."  
  
"Tried? So.. you didn't marry him then?" he asked coyly.  
  
She shook her head. "No, I couldn't. Del isn't my sincere amore." She paused momentarily before she continued, "You are."  
  
At first he just stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. Then, his face lit up with the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen. He cupped her face in his hands and dusted her face with kisses before reaching her mouth and placing a full, deep kiss on her lips. He pulled her closer to him and circled his strong arms around her waist, determined to not let her go anymore. The kiss started out slow and sensual but grew with intensity each passing second. It was as if they had picked up where they had left off this morning. Because the kiss was no longer 'forbidden', they were now able to unleash their innermost love and desire for each other. Her hands flew up to hold his head while his arms tightened around her waist and drew her even closer. A warm glow engulfed her when she felt his arms around her. His kiss was amazing, it completely made her lose touch with everything around her.  
  
When they heard applause around them, they slowly pulled away to discover that a small group of people had gathered around them. They had stopped to watch this open display of affection and were all clapping and cheering. Embarrassed, Caroline turned away and hid her face in Richard's shirt and Richard just smiled. A few people lingered to watch but most people continued their way, occasionally glancing over their shoulder to catch one last glimpse of the couple. Caroline slowly looked up at Richard again. When he felt her head lift from his chest, he looked down at her. He stared deeply into her eyes before softly declaring, "I love you" She smiled. "I love you too, Richard." They shared another kiss and when they pulled away, Richard looked happier than he had ever been before. "So, you really believe I'm your sincere amore then?" he asked.  
  
She looked up at him, her mouth curling up into an even broader smile. Several seconds passed as she just stared up at him, smiling, before finally speaking the words she was meant to say today:  
  
"I do."  
  
The end. 


End file.
